there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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