i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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