I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
