CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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