let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
