I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
