I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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