I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
