We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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