I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
