i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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