he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
She announced her abortion via fbk
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize