There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
