ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
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Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize