A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize