yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
