did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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