His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
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Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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