I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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