2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
