drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
