I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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