You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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