The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
