Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
