Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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