I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
