I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Randomize
