So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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