I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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