And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
