I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Randomize
