I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Hippo gnu deer
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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