I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
