I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
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