Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
