I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
they need to just BURY HIM!
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
