I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
We had sex on a dog bed..
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
