I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Randomize
