Pants 0. Shit 1.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Randomize
