I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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