dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
He told me they were just razor bumps!
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Randomize
