so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Randomize
