it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Randomize
