And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
All the doctor said was why
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
