Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
