theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
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this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
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I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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