I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Randomize
