idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
