you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
