i think my mom watched the whole time
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
