somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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