We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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