What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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