There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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