hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I fill condoms, not promises.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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