Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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