she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Randomize
