would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
