ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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