do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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